At least I never nearly killed us

What Sarah neglects to mention in her blog post about my driving issues is that none of the crashes I put us through were high-speed. Although my driving indiscretions are more numerous indeed, as logical thinkers we need to realize the importance of quality over quantity in this situation. None of my crashes could have been considered remotely sublime because none were life-threatening.

However, there is a somewhat sublime experience in one instance of "fence marauding," followed by a realization that the neighbor boy could keep his mouth shut, even at the tender age of 6. Let us refer back to example #2, in which Jordan joined us in our foray through the ditch and into the summer fallow field. This one could very well have been a sublime experience for young Jordan, or at least a terrifying one. I honestly think he feared for his life in two different instances that day. Christine (the Cadillac) had accumulated a rather impressive collection of books in her back window by the time I started driving. Jordan describing these books flying at his head as we ventured through the ditch and through the fence was quite comical. I have a vision of time standing still, and Jordan looking around at all of the books floating in the air, dangerously near his fuzzy little head. Luckily he wasn't hurt. I think I may have also terrified him when I told him NOT to tell ANYONE about what had happened. He didn't even tell his mother. Normally a vexatious little brat, one would expect Jordan to tell his mother at the first possible instant, but something in my tone of voice or facial expression told him that was an extremely bad idea. I think we all went through a bit of realized eschatology that day. Yes, I know I am a bad driver, but that day everyone found out and changed the way they think of me. At least how well they would trust me driving their children to the bus stop.

Although I am an admittedly bad driver and, thus, would never ask to drive the chariot, I must reiterate the irrefutable fact that I never almost killed anyone. Sure, Jordan thought I almost got him killed, but must I mention his age yet again? Sarah actually could have killed us, but I guess I can thank her for the semi-sublime experience.